When you’re in a new relationship, it’s one of the most exciting moments to introduce that person to your friends and family. You have high hopes that since they have become such a contribution to your personal happiness, that they will also add a positive dynamic to your inner circle. However, sometimes expectations are unmet and the encounter turns into a disaster. It’s very important when dating to be aware of your partner’s investment in your family and friends, and if they’re not making the effort, it’s plain and simple…they’re not the one for you.
Red flag alert. If your significant other isn’t investing in your friends and family, that’s a red flag. They should be invested in making an effort to get to know, love, and care for the important relationships in your life in the same way that you do so in theirs. If not. you may be dealing with someone who isn’t as interested in you as you think they are, or something more serious – you could be with someone who isolates you from those people with the underlying purpose to control you.
Read the fine print. So you’re out to dinner for your brother’s birthday and your partner is completely shut off from everyone around you, sitting quietly at the table and only whisper-conversing with you. This is a fine print sign that though they’re investing in you, they’re not interested in going out of their way to make conversation or make memories with your inner circle. This could be a simple mistake or an off-night, but if it’s a constant occurrence, this is a reason that person isn’t for you.
The vibe is whack. Not everyone you like will like everyone around you. Repeat that. Despite that fact, it’s still generally possible to respect and love the people that you surround yourself with and expect the same in return when introducing family, significant others, and friends to each other. If everyone doesn’t vibe well, you will know, and that may be a cause for concern. Not that your family and friends should dictate who you are committing to, but don’t you think that they might have red flag goggles that filter out what your love eyes let through? Your inner circle wants what’s best for you in every aspect of life, so they’re not going to “x” someone out that is a great match for you. Trust their intuition.
They’re always trying to avoid your squad. If they’re not accompanying you to parties, visiting your family and friends, or you have to beg them to be a part of events with your squad, then that’s a stress and inconvenience that you don’t need in your life. The right person for you isn’t going to add that stress, they’re going to want to be by your side whenever possible and they’re not going to want to miss out on making memories with you and the people you love. In reverse, if you are exhibiting the same issues and feelings towards your partner’s family and friends, you may subconsciously be feeling like they aren’t the one for you and that’s why you’re not investing. It may be time to end the relationship at that point.