Dear Married Friends: Maybe I Want to be Single

As a single adult, I have dealt with pressure from many people to be in a relationship. Even though I have chosen to be single for my own reasons, some of which these people know, other reasons are private, I still get pressured to date or for them to help fix me up with someone they know.

For whatever reason, I have found that many times my married friends have trouble understanding why I want to be single, or they feel bad for me and think that I’m sad and miserable without a partner. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I have chosen to be single for the time being because I have other priorities, and a healthy relationship doesn’t fit into my life at this time.

Another misconception is that even though I’m happy being single, my married friends tend to think that I’m specifically cutting myself off to the idea of love and that if someone great comes along I will not be into it because of my single stance. That is also not true. Even in my singleness, I am fully open to dating the right person. I’m aware of what I want and I won’t settle in the mean time. I’m much happier single and focusing on my own priorities than settling in a relationship just to not be alone or fit in with all of my friends.

While we’re on the topic of my dating life, can you please stop asking me how my dating life is going or if I have a boyfriend yet? It’s annoying. I don’t ask you how your marriage is going, unless there is a specific issue we discussed in the past and I’m checking for an update. If I wanted to tell you about someone special, then I would bring it up as part of a conversation. My dating life doesn’t have to be discussed like it’s a broken, compartmentalized part of my life, because it’s not.

And, for the love of all things holy, please stop trying to hook me up with your husband’s co-worker’s brother. Especially if I’ve told you that I’m not interested in dating anyone at the moment. It’s as simple as this: if I want you to be my wing-man, I’ll ask. If not, kindly back off.

2 thoughts on “Dear Married Friends: Maybe I Want to be Single

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