Have you ever dated someone who doesn’t “check all of your boxes” but they might have the potential to in the future? I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of doing so.
Projecting someone’s potential can happen in a variety of different scenarios, such as relationship goals, financial goals, and career goals. Seeing the best in someone is part of a healthy mindset and it’s a way to show support as a significant other. However, when you fall for someone not because of who they are currently, but because of what their potential is, you’re setting yourself up for a fantasy without a happy ending.
Just because you see potential in someone doesn’t mean they will actually ever fulfill that potential. Not only that, but if they don’t see the same potential in themself, then you are projecting something that is only going to let you both down in the long run.
If you’re going to fall in love, fall for the person of the present, not the future.